Archived News Item

Principal Go Whoosh

Principals.

We’ve had short ones, long ones, large and small; young, old, thin and tall. We’ve had co-principals and we’ve had no principals, and we’ve had a whole lot of principals that went away.

But this is a new first.

Patricia Christa, who was chosen recently by the selection group to assume the role of BHS’s principality come next year, made a number of pronouncements about the importance of commitment in her new role. The school needed somebody who wouldn’t run off at the first sign of trouble; someone who would hang in and work with us, riding out the lows as well as the highs. The Jacket, soon after her anointment, published an editorial demanding only one thing from her—essentially, that she treat the school as a task to be completed, not a career pit stop.

I should weep, but we’ve passed that point a long time ago. Now it’s just funny.

Two days ago, the announcement was made that Christa, the once and future savior, has resigned.

Frank Lynch? He didn’t make it an entire year, and we thought he was a problem. But the good Mrs. Patty has blown him out of the water, and if anybody’s keeping score, she’s scored a definite record. Forget six months—the board approved her selection on May 7. The poor chump who has to buy the name placards must have a headache.

“As I journeyed up Martin Luther King Jr. Way, I immediately thought of a street of dreams and wondered what lie within the great minds and souls of that great reputed place of learning. I smiled at what the next inspired leader could bring to the students of Berkeley High School,” said Christa. “I very much look forward to being that leader, and I’m excited about the challenges ahead.”

—e-tree

And then …

After a frank and open discussion, she stated that, after meeting with a number of staff and parents, she had come to the belief that the challenges that she would encounter were greater than she was prepared to commit her professional and personal time to resolving.

—Michele Lawrence

Stick that in a pipe and smoke it. Berkeley High is amazing; we should rent our problems out to the Marines.

So we’re back to nothing, as Lawrence describes in the message she posted to the e-tree and distributed to classrooms. Oh, and did we mention? Both of the current co-principals are taking off; all of the vice principals except Mike Hassett are, I believe, gone as well, and we can only assume that, upon the beginning of next year, all administrative control will roll over to the position of Chief Groundskeeper.

What a rush.

In other charming news, a Berkeley High moment: Voting for student government, not long ago, on wee paper ballots with the nominees printed thereupon. It takes a few moments, because you’ve got to read past the part where it says 2005, and organize it visually, and make some sense, but it’s not long, not long at all, before you realize that every single position has one, one person running for it, except that of the class senator, which has two, and as far as I know that role is held by two students anyway. You wonder, you see, why they bothered, why most of a period is being spent on voting to choose between one person and… themself. You wonder, and if you’re me you pencil in the Beatles, the Spice Girls, and Alan Greenspan, because then you at least have a choice, and at least I’ve heard of them. And “if this is a democracy,” you think, “then I’ll eat my hat.”

But of course it doesn’t matter.

Finals next week, then freedom.

Good luck.

— Brandon