Archived News Item

Rankings Inc.

A couple of days ago my mother shoved this book at me, Paul Boyer’s College Rankings Exposed: The Art of Getting a Quality Education in the 21st Century.

Essentially it seems to be exactly what it sounds like, namely another hammer to add to the overachieving parent’s already-bloated bag of tools — the ones they wield to beg, borrow, and steal a spot for their Foofoo at a “good college,” the prime goal of their life and (consequentially) yours from age 0 until 19 or so. Then the goal becomes partying.

I didn’t read this and don’t really intend to, as I find the entire game slightly less interesting than bubbling oil. However, the angle taken by College Rankings Exposed seems fairly unique, if hardly revolutionary. Its point, which apparently needs an entire book to make and prove, is such: The concept, execution, and perceived value of college ranking is bogus.

Most students will probably not find any stunning revelations in this, having at this point already been sufficiently exposed to the propaganda and phony image of institutional education to cultivate their rat-smelling skills. Their parents, however, will coo and chirp with astonishment, needing a book to tell them what we know by heart: A shiny ”#1” sticker and glowing acceptance by the academic community has no bearing on our eventual happiness with any life decision. This is true not only for colleges but for anything—the most raving endorsement cannot make us enjoy something that does not fit us.

An artistic type who despises math classes—would you send him to a top-flight mathematics school? No? But it’s the best in the nation! All of the best and brightest go there! Look how much it costs!

Yeah. But that won’t mean a thing if he hate it, because he’ll end up dropping it like an angry porcupine.

Or maybe he doesn’t! Maybe he stays. Maybe he graduates, and goes off into the world waving a shiny new degree from Impressive U.

Again, who cares? Will that degree make it easier to get a job? Yeah, probably. Will it bring vast new riches and opportunities that would be unavailable with a diploma from another, less noteworthy school? Don’t count too much on that. There may be a worldly difference between Columbia and UC Berkeley, but it pales compared to the way you will handle yourself and the degree you’ve got. Trust me when I say that there are plenty of people who are, for all intents and purposes, unhappy bums, despite an education at a prestigious Ivy League or other “oh wow I’m going there” school.

The simple fact of the matter is that a school you’ll be happy at and take something away from is infinitely more valuable than a prestigious hellhole. And most of us don’t need a book to tell us that.

But the parents might.

Check it out.

The new semester is weighing in, political machinations continue full-swing, and everyone is still doing their thing. One high note is the upcoming ITP performances, this week and next, the 6th and 7th, 13th and 14th of February (Fridays and Saturdays), 8:00 at the Hillside Club. (This is secondhand information, so if anyone sees an error in it, please let me know.) ITPs, or Independent Theatre Productions, is an group unaffiliated with Berkeley High though made up mostly of BHS students. Much like the Berkeley High class ATPs (and partially mirroring the concept), it puts together regular stage performances featuring the more talented local drama kings and queens. Being independent, they are free to pursue nothing but their own standards of quality, and the entire charade is put together independently by the studentry. Neat stuff. See it.

— Brandon