Weekly News Archive

September 7 (’03) – September 13 (’03)

Changing the Same

Now that we’ve begun our descent into the usual way of things, it would seem a good idea to step back and take stock of where we stand.

What’s Good?

High points aren’t something I mention very often, but come ’03, there are some dully lustrous gems of Good. A few highlights:

• We have a principal. Calling this a turn for the better illustrates more than anything the fact that our proverbial “bar” has dropped so low that a team of ants would have trouble limboing underneath — yet even so, it’s the small pleasures that do it.
• On a slightly less depressing note, the aforementioned principal, one Jim Slemp, seems by all indications to be wholly human. Perhaps this, too, is somewhat bittersweet, but the truth is that “pseudo-normal” faculty (not necessarily incompetent, but bearing no resemblance to homo sapiens whatsoever) are par for the course. In contrast, Slemp, though he hasn’t yet given any movingly inspirational victory speeches to mobilize our cause, comes across as wholeheartedly normal, almost enough to discourage me from mentioning that his credentials include a Certificate of Theological Studies. Also, he’s really tall.
• The late, lamented B building may soon receive its homage. Our new building, which has been… building… for longer than anybody would like to remember, is slated to enter service within a month or two. Don’t get your ears perked for more space, however; rumors have it that the facilities are arranged for precisely two classrooms. The rest? A swimming pool, cafeteria, and other large-scale endeavors. The jury is still out on whether the new eating facilities will herald yet another benighted campaign to close the campus. I hope so. Laughs are few these days.
• A number of layed-off teachers that deserved their jobs were rehired.
• The administration has shrunk. Both the BUSD and BHS itself have been dropping administrative positions like sated leeches; I hesitate to say that they’re seeing the writing on the wall, but perhaps it’s simply reached the point where nobody wants to be the last on the sinking ship.

The Bad

• Berkeley High is still Berkeley High. Schedules, rosters, and logistics slowly sort themselves out. Whenever a deliveryentity (sometimes with an endearing label proclaiming, “Volunteer Runner”) shows up at a classroom with fixed, changed, or replaced schedules, fingers cross and hands clasp. The reading of the names is like a low-budget lottery. When the last lucky winner receives his schedule, a groan comes from the masses, then a general, “Maybe next time, ’sokay, don’t worry.”
• A number of layed-off teachers that had no place teaching were rehired.
• The administration has shrunk. Leaving alone the question of said administration’s qualifications (that’d be a first), an institution the size of BHS without a suitable administrative body is a very large train without a track.
• Yes, we're still broke.

Beyond the usual affairs, the latest unusual incident was a death at the school. As it’s told, a parent (visiting the school or picking up his child) was sitting in his car in front of the Allston Way gate when he suffered — apparently — a massive heart attack. He was pronounced dead at the scene. This was Thursday of last week.

The school was asked to exit through an alternate gate; the day after, Slemp came on the PA system to explain the event. That’s all.

Apropos of that last, yes, we do have a PA system. We also have an extensive network of phones, computer data lines, and even natural gas. However, the entire schoolwide array of regulated clocks seems to believe that it is perpetually 7:15, and today a toilet decided to “flush like it’s never flushed before” and send geysers of water dousing across the entire bathroom until — well, until nothing; it was still going when I left the school, our own personal Niagara.

Ah, Berkeley.

— Brandon